my February trashing thread

[Ibrahim90]

OK, I'll keep this simple:

I HATE February. it is hard to spell, it's in winter, and it has every holiday that goes against what I stand for, or alternately, rubs it into me how much I suck as a person, and how much my life sucks*. Till now, I've had to forebear on this awful month, but no more! I have the weapons to take revenge, courtesy of the great satirist!

So here's my plan: every major day in the month, I'm going to play songs from the man himself--Tom Lehrer--as he trashes and mocks everything involved in this month. And since I know you guys love the fellow (well, at least Shane does), I'm going to share what I put on facebook, complete with my (inevitably) bitter and sarcastic remarks denigrating everything wrong with this month.


*the list--I'll keep it short:

-national brotherhood week (I know, no longer celebrated)
-presidents day (need I explain this?)
-the fact that it's called black history month, yet only seems to make the problem worse for black people (at least in Texas).
-and of course, fuck valentine's day with a broom-stick. This day is the worst of the bunch. That day deserves a thread of its own.

[MrBogosity]

Bring on the Lehrer!

Once quick quote from him to get us started: "On the first day of National Brotherhood Week, Malcolm X was killed. That should give you an idea of how effective the whole thing really was."

(Incidentally, National Brotherhood Week was expanded into Black History Month. That's where it came from.)

[Ibrahim90]

Yeah--he said that in the recording of the song from the "that was he week that was"--another reminder that this guy is awesome

anyways: my first post of the month (on Facebook):

Ah yes, February: this must have been Tom Lehrer's favorite month to celebrate--so many of his songs being perfect for this crappy month--the worst idea this side of marmite. Anyways, we begin this month's celebration of Lehrer with a comment on national brotherhood, this being black history month--sth sadly demonstrated by my uncle's attitude to certain family members--demonstrating clear commitment to the principle. Hope you enjoy:

[yt]aIlJ8ZCs4jY&app=desktop[/yt]

(in case you're wondering: the snide remark about my Uncle was due to the constant infighting over religion he likes to start: I mean, heaven forbid if my mom decided to convert from Christianity--as if it's a fucking crime).

[MrBogosity]

Yeah--he said that in the recording of the song from the "that was he week that was"--another reminder that this guy is awesome

We need another show like TW3 or The Frost Report. As great as The Daily Show can be, at the end of the day, it's a pretender.

[Ibrahim90]

We need another show like TW3 or The Frost Report. As great as The Daily Show can be, at the end of the day, it's a pretender.

amen to that!

in the meantime though, I want to take advantage of this thread, to practice on a target audience. As you know, I REALLY hate valentines day, for a variety of reasons (though to some it up: I've had a particularly shitty love-life...no, I never dated, never courted, never married, and no sex--not even porn). Anyways, here's what I propose putting on Facebook for February 14. I'm trying to, in the most sarcastic manner possible, spew out all the bile I have against this subject--one that has done the most to make my life miserable. Been wanting to do it for years, but recently had extra incentive.

Ah yes, Valentine's Day: a lovely day normally celebrated with chocolates, flowers, and people serenading the "virtues" of "true love". Of course, all this annoying outpouring of feelings has to begin somewhere: apparently—bear in mind that has yet to happen to me, so I might be ignorant—it often begins with a man and woman courting or dating each other, once they (somehow, someway) establish their mutual attraction: in spite of my best attempts, I'm simply too inept (or at least, incapable of mind-reading or influencing) and too much a minger to ever have that happen anyways, and it's clear I've wasted my time and energy trying--the last time being November last.

but if this unlikely and frankly impossible event were to take place, it would have gone something like this--a scenario typical of most relationships I hear about:

[yt]0kMY61W9tfc[/yt]

And this often happens in this sort of romantic setting—it really tells you something that, when most people spend time in such a setting finding someone to love (or score) and partying their asses off, I actually made the stupid move of actually studying there....I must be really stupid or something not wanting to go out and "meet people" when there's work to do.*
[yt]dl3mRjydcPw[/yt]

Of course, it does have its risks, but they're pretty minor:
[yt]7jKiunSRzAI[/yt]

Just be careful who you date or court:
[yt]A9BMcA8-4zo[/yt]

Of course, if often doesn't work out—it can even end quite badly:
[yt]1b3coO_6MwY[/yt]

But if it does work out, they start to bond, and engage in various fun and innocent activities:
[yt]yhuMLpdnOjY[/yt]

And if they really love each other, (usually) the man declares his true and undying love for the woman, and asks her hand:
[yt]8NOZH0y7VxE[/yt]

And the two eventually fall upon each other in love and romance, as they consume each other in the fires of passion!
[yt]TytGOeiW0aE[/yt]

They inevitably settle down to what is hopefully a long and blissful marriage:
[yt]C4p2iZTIDog[/yt]

During which time the woman will be a dutiful and loving spouse and an anchor to her man:
[yt]hH4J8CIBc7Q[/yt]

And if things go really well, the two will live happily ever after:
[yt]I9C2v1oLXQo[/yt]

man, I really have to admire how people are somehow able to put the time, and put up with the trouble, of obtaining a long-term relationship, only to see it just go up in flames (or in my case, to go up in flames before it even gets started). It's quite an amazing story this cycle of love....

PS:  Of course, for you perverts out there, there's always the alternative**:
[yt]Pva35TFiBfI[/yt]

*that's a dig at a woman named Stephanie, who made the absurd mistake of proposing that I go out and do certain things she should have known better than to suggest to me.
**remember, sarcasm here: I don't actually think you're a pervert for watching porn. may not include this part.

[MrBogosity]

in the meantime though, I want to take advantage of this thread, to practice on a target audience. As you know, I REALLY hate valentines day, for a variety of reasons (though to some it up: I've had a particularly shitty love-life...no, I never dated, never courted, never married, and no sex--not even porn). Anyways, here's what I propose putting on Facebook for February 14. I'm trying to, in the most sarcastic manner possible, spew out all the bile I have against this subject--one that has done the most to make my life miserable. Been wanting to do it for years, but recently had extra incentive.

Am I on your Facebook? Add me if I'm not.

[Ibrahim90]

Am I on your Facebook? Add me if I'm not.

why? sorry, have to ask. And you haven't provided feedback: do I need to improve on this?

besides, I haven't added friends for so long I don't even remember how to anymore XD

I did go ahead and follow you though.

[MrBogosity]

why? sorry, have to ask. And you haven't provided feedback: do I need to improve on this?

You're doing awesome! Keep it up!

[Ibrahim90]

OK, so I'm having second thoughts about the first video on the list. do you think it's fine, or would Tom Lehrer's "Be Prepared" be better?

[yt]fSwjuz_-yao[/yt]

also, how do I share videos on Facebook so that it automatically loads full screen? been trying ways, but none work.

[MrBogosity]

OK, so I'm having second thoughts about the first video on the list. do you think it's fine, or would Tom Lehrer's "Be Prepared" be better?

[yt]fSwjuz_-yao[/yt]

also, how do I share videos on Facebook so that it automatically loads full screen? been trying ways, but none work.

I've never seen that happen. I think either Facebook or the embedded YouTube player prevents that.

[Ibrahim90]

I've never seen that happen. I think either Facebook or the embedded YouTube player prevents that.

that is unfortunate. I was hoping for more of a shock effect.

anyways, here's one I had to improvise--last minute, due to RL drama:

well, I finally figured out (or rather, discovered) today the meaning of that weird dream about being stabbed in the back, through the heart, as a woman is laughing in the background as I die--in a logging trailer. the mind sure is amazing at accidentally--and subconsciously--warning itself.
to celebrate the epiphany--and its implications, a fitting song (if in spirit only) about principles--or lack of:
[yt]3BDyFuDxA-I[/yt]
btw srsly, it's a bitch typing with a cut up index finger....anyways, for those keeping up, the next (planned) Lehrer special is being prepared: been working on it for years, and it will be--I hope and pray--my masterpiece. See you On Valentine's day! grin emoticon (this song I'm posting now will be in another special)

I did add in two more comments (for effect), that I've forgiven the person, and that no apology is needed--especially as we had all made some serious mistakes leading up to this.

[MrBogosity]

Here's one for 15 February: that day in 1971 was Decimal Day in the UK, the day when they went from their simplistic currency system of four farthings to the penny, four pence to the groat, 12 pence to the shilling, 5 shillings to the crown, 20 shillings to the pound, 21 shillings to the guinea, and two bobs to the florin (don't ask), to the much more complicated and confusing 100 newpence to the pound.

Fortunately, Tom Lehrer was there on The Frost Report to straighten it all out:

[yt]oHuRcDnJOAQ[/yt]

[evensgrey]

Here's one for 15 February: that day in 1971 was Decimal Day in the UK, the day when they went from their simplistic currency system of four farthings to the penny, four pence to the groat, 12 pence to the shilling, 5 shillings to the crown, 20 shillings to the pound, 21 shillings to the guinea, and two bobs to the florin (don't ask), to the much more complicated and confusing 100 newpence to the pound.

Fortunately, Tom Lehrer was there on The Frost Report to straighten it all out:

[yt]oHuRcDnJOAQ[/yt]

And if you think those coins were bad, back in Tudor times, they had a whole bunch of other weird denominations, such as a groat (worth 4 pence) and the half-groat (worth 2 pence, and a denomination of coinage that stayed in use until quite recently, and is still recalled in English references to 'tuppence'), the ryal (10 shillings, and inspired by the same coin that gave rise to the expression 'pieces of eight'), the sovereign (originally 20 shillings, but not actually a pound because a pound was a pound of silver, hence the term 'Pound Sterling', and the sovereign was gold, and it rose to as much as 30 shillings by the end of Tudor times), the angel (6 shillings and 8 pence) and the half-angel (3 shillings and 4 pence).  In later Tudor times, there was also 3 pence and 6 pence coins (and I had though Pratchett had invented the sixpence coins mentioned in Monstrous Regiment).  The denominations of the crown (5 shillings) and half-crown (2 shillings and 6 pence) were introduced in late Tudor times as well, and survived right up until decimalization.

The current coinage has a few surprising denominations as well.  For instance, there's a 20 pence piece (which is also an unusual pentagonal shape), probably because of the relatively large value of a whole pound compared to a lot of other currencies.  The 10 pence piece is almost identical in size and weight to a Canadian quarter, and has a similar value and usage, so it is both much bigger and much more common than dimes are.  The pound coin is a small, thick, bronze-colored thing (everyone in the English speaking world seems to use this color for a coin of one basic unit of the currency, except the US never has had a dollar coin that people liked since fiat currency was imposed).

[Ibrahim90]

Nice! three solid days of Lehrer: 14th, 15th, and 16th of February. Man the month will be jacked up to the people on Facebook who know me. 

[Travis Retriever]

I only have four issues with February:

1) It's the month with Valentine's Day, with lots of people who either
a) Won't STFU about it.  B) People who project their own problems with it onto me.
Seriously, if you have a mate/lover/etc, why do you need a specific day for it? Why not designate your own special day for extra love/affection/etc?  The whole concept of a day for lovers all over never made sense to me. 

2) It's my birthday month (the 20th).  Weee, another year, another 365.26 days of nothing gained or ventured, and another way to feel behind the rest of everyone else. FML.

3) Related to 2, my birthday is also Social Justice Day, which I feel was made for the express purpose of annoying me. *eyetwitch*

4)  Too.  Fucking.  Cold. T_T  Damnit, I'm getting too lean for this crap. XD