Fav quotes

[Travis Retriever]

Heard this bit from some college-aged girls behind me in the line for Chipotle today, just before I noticed prices went up again.

(paraphrased from memory) "...and they're talking about raising the minimum wage again. That's stupid, if they want to help people, they'd lower taxes first."

That certainly made the higher prices a little more bearable.

@Those girls--very well said.

[Travis Retriever]

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/dairy_products/printer.php
http://paleomovement.com/alan-aragon-paleo-critic/
Alan Aragon does it again.

[ArtemisVale]

[Ibrahim90]

best...pwnage....ever:

[yt]2HnKIlKSzUM[/yt]


you see, THIS is how you deal with fraud: not with a stupid law, not with violence. but by trolling your target so hard he's shamed into quitting.

anyways, the story:

Abu Ja'far al-mansour (the Second, and greatest, Abbasid Caliph) was a person who was very tight and careful with money, and would spend it reluctantly. On the other hand, he was a patron of the arts, and possessed of great memory. He would offer whoever came up with a poem the weight of the writing medium in gold. Poets would come, and try to create beautiful long poems, to claim the prize. However, Abu Ja'far decided that he didn't want to pay them, so he did this: using his memory, he would be able to memorize the poem after a recitation. he had a boy who could do it in two recitations, and a girl who did three.

So when a prospective poet came in and recited his verse, Abu Ja'far would simply recite it back like a tape recorder--word for word, claiming the poem was not original to the poet. he would then claim to know others who memorized it, and bring out the boy, who would recite it back word for word (he having heard first the poet, then the Caliph), and then the girl, who would recite it too, word for word. the poet would then be dismissed, empty handed.

Poets despaired, and feared to try to claim the prize. that was until al-asma'i saw them in their state, and asked: "why are you so dejected?". they explaimed to him how no one seemed to be able to make a poem the caliph didn't recognize, and described the sequence of events. unfazed, Al-Asma'i basically said: "yeah, there's a trick to this, let me go home". Now for context, Al-asma'i was a linguist, poet, and philologist, lead member of the Basra school of grammar (itself the finest school--it was the one Sibawayh was from), and therefore epic grammar nazi. So what he did next will come as no surprise:

he went to the Caliph, dressed as a simple barefooted wild-haired nomad (to hide the fact that he is al-asma'i--he was already famous), and with him was a camel weighed down with a heavy load (we'll get to it). He greeted the Caliph, and told him that he had a poem in tribute to the Caliph. the poem itself:

[yt]WjxA90wA-PM[/yt]

basically, while grammatically perfect, and forming coherent sentences, the words and meanings are so confusing and obscure, that when recited to the Caliph, he was too focused trying to figure out what the hell the guy was saying to be able to memorize the poem. he could only repeat one word--a garbled one. neither the boy nor the girl could figure it out either.

conceding defeat, the Caliph gave in, and asked that he bring his writing to him, so as to reward him with its weight in gold. At this, al-asma'i said this:

[spoiler]

I had inherited from my father a marble pillar, on which I carved the poem. it is on my camel, and can only be carried by four of your men.

[/spoiler]

[spoiler]
horrified, the treasurer pointed out that the weight was such that it would deplete the treasury. Al-asma'i assured him that he'd give up the reward, but only if Abu-Ja'far would not rip poets off, and pay them their due.[/spoiler]

[Travis Retriever]

best...pwnage....ever:

[yt]2HnKIlKSzUM[/yt]


you see, THIS is how you deal with fraud: not with a stupid law, not with violence. but by trolling your target so hard he's shamed into quitting.

anyways, the story:

Abu Ja'far al-mansour (the Second, and greatest, Abbasid Caliph) was a person who was very tight and careful with money, and would spend it reluctantly. On the other hand, he was a patron of the arts, and possessed of great memory. He would offer whoever came up with a poem the weight of the writing medium in gold. Poets would come, and try to create beautiful long poems, to claim the prize. However, Abu Ja'far decided that he didn't want to pay them, so he did this: using his memory, he would be able to memorize the poem after a recitation. he had a boy who could do it in two recitations, and a girl who did three.

So when a prospective poet came in and recited his verse, Abu Ja'far would simply recite it back like a tape recorder--word for word, claiming the poem was not original to the poet. he would then claim to know others who memorized it, and bring out the boy, who would recite it back word for word (he having heard first the poet, then the Caliph), and then the girl, who would recite it too, word for word. the poet would then be dismissed, empty handed.

Poets despaired, and feared to try to claim the prize. that was until al-asma'i saw them in their state, and asked: "why are you so dejected?". they explaimed to him how no one seemed to be able to make a poem the caliph didn't recognize, and described the sequence of events. unfazed, Al-Asma'i basically said: "yeah, there's a trick to this, let me go home". Now for context, Al-asma'i was a linguist, poet, and philologist, lead member of the Basra school of grammar (itself the finest school--it was the one Sibawayh was from), and therefore epic grammar nazi. So what he did next will come as no surprise:

he went to the Caliph, dressed as a simple barefooted wild-haired nomad (to hide the fact that he is al-asma'i--he was already famous), and with him was a camel weighed down with a heavy load (we'll get to it). He greeted the Caliph, and told him that he had a poem in tribute to the Caliph. the poem itself:

[yt]WjxA90wA-PM[/yt]

basically, while grammatically perfect, and forming coherent sentences, the words and meanings are so confusing and obscure, that when recited to the Caliph, he was too focused trying to figure out what the hell the guy was saying to be able to memorize the poem. he could only repeat one word--a garbled one. neither the boy nor the girl could figure it out either.

conceding defeat, the Caliph gave in, and asked that he bring his writing to him, so as to reward him with its weight in gold. At this, al-asma'i said this:

[spoiler][/spoiler]

[spoiler]
horrified, the treasurer pointed out that the weight was such that it would deplete the treasury. Al-asma'i assured him that he'd give up the reward, but only if Abu-Ja'far would not rip poets off, and pay them their due.[/spoiler]

I originally wasn't going to read through that...but I did and I don't regret it...holy shit that is epic.

[Ibrahim90]

I originally wasn't going to read through that...but I did and I don't regret it...holy shit that is epic.

one does not simply not read through an Al-asma'i related story. 

there are lots of stories about this guy--all true. many are basically Arab versions of epic rap battles, others about how his intellect and knowledge made him the age's equivalent to a billionare. And to think he started off as a pauper.

[Ibrahim90]

[yt]BwqFgnl4rMs[/yt]

[Travis Retriever]

[yt]BwqFgnl4rMs[/yt]

Weird Al is the shit!

[Travis Retriever]

"Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself."--No clue who said this.
So true.

[ArtemisVale]

[yt]ydrZTBbclOU[/yt]

[R.E.H.W.R.]

[yt]E9nGBJZ-nPM[/yt]

[Travis Retriever]

[yt]8TdUieDIXe0[/yt]
"With any luck, they'll eat each other."--Hawkeye in the video's comments.
"I've got my fingers crossed.   And yeah, seeing this video in my feed made my morning and even my day. "--me in response to Hawkeye's above comment.

"Anyone with even the slightest knowledge of 4chan could have seen this (and much worse) coming a lightyear away...Ditto for the results/it not working on the last clip...what did they THINK was going to happen?"--Me on the video itself.  I mean, really, just what did they THINK was going to happen?

[AnCap Dave]

[yt]OoqkEL7m-Oo[/yt]

[AnCap Dave]

This too:
[yt]ZantzARkMwM[/yt]

[R.E.H.W.R.]

[yt]8TdUieDIXe0[/yt]
"With any luck, they'll eat each other."--Hawkeye in the video's comments.
"I've got my fingers crossed.   And yeah, seeing this video in my feed made my morning and even my day. "--me in response to Hawkeye's above comment.

"Anyone with even the slightest knowledge of 4chan could have seen this (and much worse) coming a lightyear away...Ditto for the results/it not working on the last clip...what did they THINK was going to happen?"--Me on the video itself.  I mean, really, just what did they THINK was going to happen?

[yt]9zrpESOgVmA[/yt]