Best insults ever

[MrBogosity]

And then there's this exchange from Red Dwarf between Lister and a rather uppity hologram:

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[Dallas Wildman]

Say this to homeopath whenever they poison the well:
"I'm sure if you keep pouring more poison down that well the water will taste better.
Wait that's not how it works does it?"

[Ibrahim90]

here's a few from talking with the day logger--and man she's something special:

"but all "historical drama" is porn disguised as history" -referring to shows like the Tudors, reign, etc. it was as a reply to me complaining about the Tudors.

"well, most are, but the Borgias I think are exception: they're history disguised as porn" --that's my reply to the above.

"are you one of those creepy scumbags like my uncle who cheats on his wife with Asian girls?!" something she told one guy who...well, let's just say religious hypocrites exist at work too.

[AnCap Dave]

You know, I should feel ashamed I've gone this entire thread without posting some Al Bundy.

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I still say MwC still holds up today as one of the most well written sitcoms ever.

[Travis Retriever]

You know, I should feel ashamed I've gone this entire thread without posting some Al Bundy.

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I still say MwC still holds up today as one of the most well written sitcoms ever.

And related to that:  [yt]pj_kF3figEo[/yt]

[MrBogosity]

The Twelfth Doctor's racked up some good ones in his first series (probably the Scottish accent):

"This is your power source. And feeble though it is, I can use it to blow this whole room if I see one thing that I don't like. And that includes karaoke and mimes, so take no chances."

Robin: Robin Hood laughs in the face of all. Ha ha ha!
Twelve: And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?
Robin: Not as yet.
Twelve: Lucky I'm here, then, isn't it?

"You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box! It's a Time Machine! It also travels in space! And it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work of preventing the end of the world—but keeps on getting interrupted by boring little humans!"

"Don't they teach you anything in Stupid School?"

"There's a horror movie called 'Alien'? That's really offensive! No wonder everyone keeps invading you."

And of course all the times he referred to humans as "pudding-brains."

And let's face it, who else could or would trash-talk Santa Claus?

Not that Clara couldn't hold her own with him:

Twelve: Why do I keep you around?
Clara: Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what?
Twelve: Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. I used to have a teacher exactly like you.
Clara: You still do. Pay attention.

"Tell me what you knew, Doctor, or I'll smack you so hard you'll regenerate."

"Honestly, d'you have music playin' in your head when you say rubbish like that?"

"Oh, don't you ever tell me to mind my language! Don't you ever tell me to take the stabilisers off my bike! And don't you dare lump me in with the rest of all the little humans that you think are so tiny and silly and predictable!"

[CarcharOdin]

I think I got one:

"You are phenomenal evidence for why abortion should not be illegal."

[Ibrahim90]

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@ 6:15

"yes, plants are alive; in fact they're more alive than some people I know"

[Ibrahim90]

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this whole episode is filled with some awesome insults, but @ 9:36 is where it really reaches a crescendo. Thankfully, you won't need me to translate, since it's about the then president's awful English. the very best one is @ 11:35, which I'll have to translate partly:

wi il-lier biroo7 3al-fire...and at some times he happens to be the president of a Republic--doesn't have to be Egypt, it can be anywhere!

wi= and

il- : the
biroo7: goes
3al: to the (lit. On the)


Man, I regret not having discovered this guy sooner. He has so many good insults:

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here he say: "he's right: Mubarak is not just the most important ruler in Egypt since Muhammad Ali, but he's the most important ruler since the days of king NO MAN!!! the third. This king was of the old dynasty of 7am-Ra*.... by the way....the king NO MAN!!! the third, was the first to introduce the planting of squash* in Egypt"

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the first song is a garbage one inciting people to go to war with Israel on Hamas' side....it's lame.

here's bassem's version:

whoever puts his finger in the outlet is electrocuted on touch/ Come on lovers of tenderness strip off your clothes! tear out your enemas!

terrifying chants! the Zionists are just sitting there trembling: "we can't sleep we can't oy!!!"

is this a demonstration or a wedding dance? I don't get this.

then there's this....It's too long to translate here, but he's basically making fun of the way the religious channels fawned over Morsi:

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*it's a play on words: 7am-Ra sounds like "7amra" meaning "red". you can complete the joke.
*a common euphemism for bullshit or empty-headedness