Favorite statist contradictions

[Lord T Hawkeye]

As we all know, as big as they talk, statists are incapable of going even a single sentence without contradicting themselves, the inevitable result of trying to defend the indefensible.  So, list all your faves here!

"We need governments to protect us from violence."
Since the number one defining trait of a government is their monopoly on the initiation of violence, this translates to...
"The initiation of violence is bad, thus we must give certain people permission to initiate violence in order to protect us from the initiation of violence"

The social contract
"In order to protect and secure peaceful and voluntary interactions and contracts, we need a violent and coercive social contract"

"A fully voluntary, unregulated market can never work!"
"I am writing on the internet, an environment that is fully voluntary and almost completely free of any kind of coercive regulation, to inform you that voluntary, unregulated markets can never work!"

"We need to be in Iraq to stop the terrorists"
Why are terrorists bad?  Because they kill people?
So the argument is "Killing people is bad and that's why we need to kill people in order to stop the killing of people"

Socialized healthcare
"90% of Britain rate the NHS as good or excellent!"
"So why do you have to force people to pay for it?"
"Because they wouldn't pay for it if we didn't"
"So people rate a service as good or excellent and yet won't voluntarily pay for it?"

[Ibrahim90]

you should add the one from eagleye. it goes something like this:

"humans can only process around 250 people at a time. therefore we need a government, made of people, to regulate millions of people"

[Travis Retriever]

"Restitution as a goal of justice won't work.  How do you determine what a person would have had had the crime not have happened?  Therefore we need to replace restitution with retribution--a completely subjective and entirely in the air standard to crime that does nothing to help those who were harmed."

[Travis Retriever]

From conservative (former) friend:

"I don't trust people; they are shit.  I don't trust anyone I don't know."
Yet he defends the world's largest government, the US Federal government which is made of millions of people he doesn't know.